by Nabanita Dutt on 2019-02-13
Snuggles or snacks?
Which do you think is the more ideal `adult’ experience on Valentine’s Day?
Opinions are so deeply divided on this, we decided to jump out of bed and declare our own stand on the nuzzle-versus-nutrition issue. We’re backing the snackers over the snugglers, of course. But before you knock us down for being the wham-bam sort of unsentimental carnal beasts, let us clarify that we do so because we ARE hopelessly sentimental romantics.
Don’t you see?
Going straight from Valentine-inspired intimacy to snuggles is like rushing from Act I to Act III in a Shakespearean play; the whole experience – not to mention the night — is cut abruptly short, and all you can do afterwards is roll over and go to sleep.
Introducing a snack break as an Act II, on the other hand, leaves the plot wide open for all sorts of climaxes to occur before the evening is out. Maybe even an encore performance of Act I if the mood demands it.
Okay, so now that we have single-handedly won the post-coital debate by tempting you with the possibility of `seconds’, let’s press on with the next big question.
What sort of snacks?
Should you bring the same kind of small bites to bed that you would normally bring to a ballgame?
Our internet research threw up a bunch of suggestions that we think are totally unworthy of the occasion: Chinese, pizza, cupcake, Ramen, Mars bars…
EvenBuzzfeed, the supreme arbiter on current lifestyle trends, does not differentiate between the bed and the bleachers, recommending bagel bites, Gatorade and popcorn.
Bad idea, all of them folks.
Don’t ruin the expectations of ultimate romance on Valentine’s Day with food you eat while watching your son play baseball. It’s your man out there in the arena, and you’ve got to step up to the plate and produce something that will encourage his sort of game.
And so, ladies, allow us to present to you the most sinfully successful, lust-inducing snack since Eve produced that apple for Adam: French toast spiked with alcohol.
Adult french toast!
Warm french toast oozing with energy-boosting sugar. Come-hither french toast covertly laced with liquor the same way Victoria laces her lingerie in secret.
This isn’t conjecture; it’s got to be a fact. We’d even go so far as to say that a high-spirited french toast will historically prove itself to be the ultimate man-pleaser, leaving Eve’s apple far behind in the race as a come-hither, ingestible device.
I mean, if you Google the query “most search food” on the internet, does apple come out tops?
Nopes. It’s french toast.
The recipe for french toast has been searched for billions of times. Everybody craves french toast. It’s the comfort food that powers this world and keeps it bobbling on its axis.
And now you can put a boozy spin on the bready treat this Valentine’s Day with recipes listed below, and import all its pleasing powers right into your bedroom.
# 1: DRUNKEN FRENCH TOAST
# 2: RUM AND WHISKEY FRENCH TOAST
# 3: VANILLA BEAN SMOKED PORTER FRENCH TOAST
# 4: BAILEY’S IRISH CREAM SPIKED FRENCH TOAST
# 5: CAPTAIN MORGAN FRENCH TOAST
# 6: BOURBON AND VANILLA BEAN FRENCH TOAST
# 7: RUM CHATA FRENCH TOAST
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